Serenity in Times of Uncertainty
We’re here again, urged to stay indoors by our governments as an invisible enemy continues to tear through cities around the world. After almost one year of uncertainty, we might be struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Winter covers us in perpetual grey and we’re fighting to stay positive, but damn, we’d be lying if we said it wasn’t hard!
For some of us, adjusting to this situation has been more difficult than for others. Our brains are like hardware and our responses to challenging situations are programmed through genetics and childhood experiences. Thankfully, there’s always a software update available: your choices. In the face of adversity, you can choose your happiness, and one way to begin doing so is through one simple practice: mindfulness. There’s no better time than now to start updating your mind, and here’s why you should.
Mindfulness regulates your emotional state
“We can’t control the events of our lives, but we can absolutely learn to control how we respond to them,” says psychologist, coach and mindfulness practitioner Cleide Burgess. For Cleide, mindfulness is more than a 21st-century buzzword and emphasises its power in rewiring the brain. Through mindfulness, you enhance your ability to see things clearly, be in the moment, and pay attention to what is actually important. “The way you interact with your thoughts, and how you pay attention to your feelings, emotions and experiences will change the way your brain works.”
This is called neuroplasticity, where the neurons in your brain adapt to new experiences. If you continue to choose negative thoughts in any given situation, this will eventually become habitual. You will have created a neural pathway that instinctively bends to negativity. However, the same can be said for thinking positively. “When things hit you, you might experience a negative emotion,” says Cleide, “but if you’ve built a stronger pathway through the practice of positive thinking, you’ve given yourself the power to override it. It’s up to you to create that strong pathway.”
And according to Cleide, mindfulness is the best tool for developing a strong pathway and regulating your emotional state. “Choosing to take a few breaths to feel calm in a stressful situation completely alters your mind.”
It turns fear into hope
A few days before the first COVID-19 lockdown, Cleide was travelling from Brazil. Some passengers on the airplane had already started wearing masks, country borders were closing, and the daily news did nothing to help rising fears around an invisible enemy. It was all Cleide could think about.
“A few days after arriving back home, I developed a sore throat, which, at the time, was a main symptom of the virus. Both my husband and I were worried.” Her panicked thoughts soon transformed into vivid images of herself in hospital and even death. At that point, she knew she had to turn her fear around, as it was of no benefit to anyone, least of all herself. “I talked myself down and remembered at that time of year I often develop hay fever, and a sore throat is usually my first symptom.”
Entertaining this thought instead allowed her to freely engage in behaviours that supported her well-being, like sleeping and eating better, and meditation. “I could have locked myself in fear, but through mindfulness, I became an outside observer and allowed myself to see the situation for what it was.”
It’s important to remember there’s nothing wrong with feeling fear, anxiety, worry or sadness in any given situation for a moment. Mindfulness allows you to sit with a negative feeling or fear to gain clarity, understand it, and overcome it.
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” -- James Baldwin
It helps to be present
“Mindfulness is not just about paying attention, but about why you’re paying attention,” says Cleide. “When practicing mindfulness, ask yourself: what is your goal? What is your intention? The answers to these questions are your heart’s compass.” But even the most mindful of us can forget it in a moment.
Recently, Cleide asked her daughter if they could spend some time together and asked her what she wanted to do. When her daughter answered that she’d like to watch T.V., Cleide was frustrated, as she’d expected her daughter to suggest going for a walk.
“When you’re present and paying attention, you’re more likely to default to the ‘why’ rather than remain in the ‘what'.” Cleide admits she wasn’t present in that moment and reminded herself why she asked her daughter to spend time together, which was just that: to spend time together. It shouldn’t have mattered what they were doing.
“With mindfulness, you can approach any feeling with curiosity and ask yourself: where are these feelings coming from and why? It becomes a loving embrace that welcomes everything; it encourages you to be kind to yourself, no matter what you find within,” says Cleide. And when you’re present and kind to yourself, you give yourself the strength to be present and kind to others.
“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers” -- Thich Nhat Hanh
Takeaways
If you don’t practice already, give mindfulness a go. Pay attention when a negative emotion creeps up, whether that’s the anxiety as a deadline approaches or the uncertainty of another lockdown, and commit to sit with it, understand it and transform it. “Imagine your relationships when you’re able to be present, when you intentionally pay attention to what is important in a kind, non-judgemental way. That’s the best gift you can offer to yourself and to those you love.”
This content is from the Together in tech Positivity Lunch with Cleide Burgess. Join our community to make sure you don’t miss the next event!
